Noms: Gardein BBQ Skewers

June 1, 2010

I’m not usually one for fake meat products. Boca? No way. Morningstar? Nuh  uh. Smart dogs? Never in a million years. You name it, I probably don’t like it – from fake chicken nuggets to sausage links – and I probably won’t eat it. Some of them are processed far too much and have a zillion unrecognizable ingredients. *cough cough Boca burgers cough* So why do I rarely eat imitation meat? There’s just something about the taste and the texture. I guess because it resembles meat just a little too closely. Or sometimes it ends up looking like poo. (See here)

Anyway, I had some friends over for a BBQ last night. First of the season! Among all the grilled potatoes, peppers, and mushrooms was this…

I know, I know.. fake meat.  It must’ve been the words “New BOLD BBQ sauce.” No, really, it was a spur of the moment thing. I recognized and could read and pronounce all of the ingredients. The nutrition stats were pretty good too.  The only thing that I didn’t particularly love was the amount of sodium in a serving. I try to keep it under 800mg a day and, judging by the size of the skewers vs the size of my stomach, there was no way I was going to be able to only eat one serving… unless it tasted like poo.

What? I’m a hangry girl.

Once I took them out of the package, I was unnerved. They were all kind of clumped together and they really did resemble poo. A lot.

Upon further inspection and a good sniff, I discovered that they actually smelled really good. Kind of like baked beans..which SCREAM deliciousness, especially after they’ve been in the slow cooker for 6 hours and you just want to stick your face in them.

See? Not too appealing. Poo on a stick.

That’s what they looked like post-grilling. There was nothing I could do to make them look more appetizing.

With an open mind and a tall glass of water next to me for just in case, I took a hunk of “garden protein” and prepared for the worst. Surprisingly, however, it wasn’t terrible. I seriously wondered if I’d picked up a meat kebab instead of a vegan one, to be honest with you. Texture wise, it was a little chewy and quite dense. The BOLD BBQ sauce had stuck to the skewer even during it’s session in the grill sauna. It really was bold.

Overall, the skewers were different than I’d been expecting. In a good way. I’m definitely going to try Gardein’s other stuff. But I’m not good at sharing, so if anyone asks for a bite, I’ll tell them I’m eating poo.

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5 Responses to “Noms: Gardein BBQ Skewers”


  1. Haha! I can’t say those things look particuarly appetizing either…but good on you for trying! Rewards always favour those who are brave 😛

  2. Meg Says:

    Just came across your blog! I literally laughed out loud when you talked about baked beans and wanting to stick your face in them!


  3. Every so often I REALLY love some good ol’ fake meat. The faker the better! These look incredible and I’m glad they turned out pretty yummy for you.


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