Your Mountain is Waiting

February 17, 2011

The other night, I did something I haven’t done in quite a long time (we’re talking years here!). I went rock climbing. Looking up at the very top of the indoor wall, I thought, there’s no way I’ll be able to climb that! It was probably a good 25 feet high, plus there were people watching.


But I tried anyway.

It was intense, it was tough, and it was scary. Climbing straight up and trying not to look down was one of the most challenging aspects, and even though I had a harness on I was still terrified of losing my balance and slipping. There were times when I thought my fear of falling would get the best of me, but I toughed it out and had an epiphany while I was scaling that wall.

Climbing up the rock wall is like deciding to recover and, more importantly, defeat my eating disorder. You’ve got to tackle it head on and just climb from the bottom of that wall all the way to the top. Trusting and knowing you’ll be caught by your support group if you do happen to lose your grip is an important factor. They’re there with you every step of the way, whether you realize it or not. They’ve got your back. If you do happen to lose your grip, you have support in your belayer. Turn to them and tell them, and they’ve got you – they won’t let you fall. But it’s also about trusting yourself. You’ve got to believe that you’ve got the right footing and you have to take it one step at a time.

There will probably be a few slip ups and maybe even a few fallbacks, and that’s when the choice is up to you: you can give that climb another try and push yourself to the top, or you can go right back down to the bottom. Although scaling a wall of any kind is never easy no matter what the situation, it is always worth the climb. Because once you’re at the top, there is no greater feeling.

As far as I’m concerned, the only way to go is up.

What’s your “wall?”

5 Responses to “Your Mountain is Waiting”

  1. I have had my own “climb” in regards with nutrition. When I was younger, I didn’t like myself; I believed I had to be thin to be “pretty.” In effort to become “ideal,” I turned to counting calories.

    Fortunately, when my family and I began making healthier choices, slowly, but surely, I released that grip I had established with counting calories. I began to like myself again. Nevertheless, over the years, the cycle kind of started again; I became – restrictive. I became overly concerned about the number on the scale, the number of fat grams, the number of calories, etc.

    I didn’t view it as a diet; I was just being “healthy.” Nevertheless, I wasn’t listening to my body; I wasn’t in-tune with my body and practically ignored my body.

    It took time, but I finally came to the resolve that this was a problem – a problem I needed to overcome. I was “falling down the mountain.” I was only hurting myself – my body – my sacred and divine temple. I thought I was being “healthy,” but what I needed to do was develop a healthy relationship with food. I needed balance.

    It’s been a difficult climb, but you know, it’s something I work on daily. Every day I have to keep moving forward — keep moving “up.” I now listen to my body— I strive to be in tune. It is still a struggle, but I will keep looking forward –moving forward. I continually strive to love and accept myself for who I am.

    Thank you for this post girl. 🙂

  2. jassy Says:

    wow…nice wall 🙂

  3. i used to go rock climbing years ago. it’s so fun-i just don’t like the too small shoes they make you wear! i get that it’s “necessary”, but it’s kind of distracting to be annoyed by scrunched up toes.

    my wall would have to be trusting people close to me. been hurt alot, but i don’t ever want to give up on people.

  4. Monique Says:

    Dude that’s awesome!! I’ve only been rock climbing once or twice in my life… I’ve never even attempted mountain climbing. Maybe hiking is the most intense I’ve ever done 🙂

  5. I am trying to lose weight and I have always had an unhealthy relationship with food. Either I eat too much or I eat loo little. It seems like it is a constant battle to develop new (healthy) ways of living and eating..

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